Book Two Wylan: Chapter 9
A Trip to Wonderland
Chapter 9: A Trip to Wonderland
September 2013
“I’m only here until I get back onto my feet, Wen. I don’t want to stay here with you permanently or anything,” Wylan insisted.
“It didn’t sound like that when you were on my front porch yesterday,” Wen challenged. “How much money do you have anyway? It’ll give me a better sense of knowing when you can start renting or moving to your own place.”
“Or move in with another boyfriend,” Wylan said innocently, as if he didn’t have to leave in the dead of night and drive across the whole fucking country from the last one.
Crashing with the dudes he was dating was one of his best money-saving hacks. Yeah it didn’t exactly work out most of the time, but it saved him a shit ton. Money that would normally go to rent, he could spend on his favorite drugs and the shit that made him happy. Like more drugs. It was a win win.
“Wylan,” Wen sighed. “How much money do you have? Please don’t make me ask you a third time.”
“Touchy, touchy,” Wylan smirked. “And fine. Twenty-five.”
“Twenty-five thousand?” Wen asked.
“Lower,” Wylan said.
“Twenty-five hundred?”
“Lower lower,” Wylan grinned.
“No,” Wen moaned.
“Twenty-five dollars,” Wylan beamed.
“What happened to the bank accounts mom and dad and grandma and grandpa set up for you?” Wen asked in horror.
“I spent it,” Wylan said.
“You spent all that money?” Wen shook his head. “Well, it’s a good thing that one of the conditions on the contract is that you need to get a job.”
“Eww,” Wylan cringed. “I’m an artist. I just need some paint, canvases, and a new camera, and I’ll be good to go. You remember that series I made that was put on display at that gay art gallery in New York City. The one where I painted my ass and –”
“Pressed it up against canvases. Yes, Wylan. It’s impossible to forget,” Wen sighed.
“So you’ll remember that I made a few hundred dollars from it,” Wylan stated.
“Yes, Wylan, but I think we’re past the point where a couple of hundred dollars is enough,” Wen sighed.
“Sigh, sigh, sigh,” Wylan imitated his twin. “I know you’re capable of more reactions than that, Wen.”
“Okay, well, you can’t live here for free, Wylan, so you can live in your car and be an artist, or you could suck it up and get a job,” Wen said firmly.
“You’re going to charge me rent?” Wylan cried. “I’m dirt fucking poor!”
“No, you’re going to pay yourself rent, Wylan. I set up another bank account with both of our names on it, and you’re going to deposit an amount we agree on together every week.”
“That’s actually…” Wylan paused, thinking over his brother’s logic. “Not totally stupid.”
“Now look at those paragraphs at the bottom of the page. I put some job options for you,” Wen said.
Wylan read the options aloud. “Hold the Cone ice cream shop team member, Moment of Pizza delivery driver, Happy Tails Humane Society kennel cleaner, Nifty and Thrifty cashier.”
“I can get you an interview at three of them. Dani is friends with the owner at Nifty and Thrifty, and some of the Howley-Kirkwoods have connections at Hold the Cone and the Humane Society.”
“I’m not scooping poop or ice cream or selling smelly used clothing,” Wylan scrunched his nose.
“If you don’t want to pick one of these, Wylan, then you’re going to pick your own. I’ll give you … a week,” Wen said, “I think that’s more than fair to let you scope out what’s in the area.”
“Well, I need more clothes to start, Wen, especially if you want me to go on all of these interviews. Even though you lost weight, your clothes are still kind of big for me,” Wylan cringed.
“I don’t have time, but I’m sure Dani or Aurora would be delighted to escort and play fashion show with you. I’ll give them money,” Wen said.
“Wow, you’re really determined to not let me touch a penny of your money, Wen,” Wylan said with a humorless smile.
“Trust, Wylan. You need to earn my trust. And that brings me to the last point on the contact,” Wen motioned turning the page over.
No fucking way. He can’t be serious, Wylan thought as he read it. “No more drugs. Wen, I’m so high functioning it’s not even funny.”
“Wylan, you’re deluding yourself,” Wen said. “You want to stay here? You’re going to save money, get a job, and get clean.”
“I’m not going to rehab,” Wylan objected. “I don’t need those people up my ass.”
“Fine. I want to see you behaving with maturity, Wylan. Now I have to get to work,” Wen said.
***
Contrary to its name, the Midnight Market operated at all hours of the day. Sure, a lot of the vendors preferred to sell their wares at night, but there were plenty who opened their shops earlier in the day.
Wylan passed shops selling goblin crafted jewelry, dwarf brewed wines and spirits, and an exotic breeder selling lizard-sized micro dragons. When Wylan stopped to get a closer look, one of the green creatures exhaled a jet of flames the size of Wylan’s thumbnail.
I’d love to see Wen’s reaction if I came home with one of them! Wylan thought, amused.
He wasn’t there for a micro dragon, though. There were rumors that a warlock dealer had a stall. Whether or not he was actually selling fae drugs though, that was what Wylan was going to find out.
Wen didn’t say when I need to get clean, Wylan justified. I just need a little bit more. Then I’ll be done. One more trip. Plus, he’s at work anyway. He doesn’t need to know. It won’t kill him.
The warlock was easy enough to find. Casually, Wylan roamed over to his stall. He was selling knock-off designer cauldrons, weight loss spells that promised miraculous results, and spiteful hexes for exes.
This dude was scum. But was he the kind of scum that dealt drugs on the side? The warlock was glued to his phone, thumbs flying across the screen as he texted.
Wylan gave the stall a once over. There was no indication that this guy sold the pills he supposedly did. Wylan was gonna have to go about it the long way. He sighed internally. He hated having to take extra steps.
“Is Alice one of your customers?” Wylan asked casually. If anyone overheard them, it wouldn’t raise any red flags.
The warlock jammed his phone into his back jeans pocket and grinned at Wylan, “She stopped by this morning. Why? You wanna take a trip to Wonderland?”
“You’ve seen the white rabbit?” Wylan scoffed.
“I breed them,” the warlock boasted.
“Ha. As if,” Wylan snorted. “Seeing is believing. Show me those bunnies.”
Stealthily, his eyes darting this way and that, the warlock reached under his counter and pulled up a bag of pills. He shook them.
“Normally, they glow. Or at least sparkle. Those look like a baggie of fucking Tylenols, man,” Wylan rolled his eyes.
“I can give you a sample,” the warlock said enticingly.
“You’d do that?” Wylan said skeptically.
“I stand by my stock,” the warlock said in a low voice. He used a severing spell to cut one of the pills in half. He passed it over to Wylan.
Wylan popped it and waited for the hallucinations to start. It didn’t take long. The people roaming the market suddenly had flowers blooming out from their eyes, and he saw their words come out of their mouths like splatters of watercolor paint. It was so beautiful he could cry.
“Shit,” he breathed. This was potent. He could only imagine what a full pill or two would do.
“Now what are you going to give me for it?” the warlock smirked.
His twenty-five dollars wouldn’t cover this. Wylan knew that already. Time to bust out the big guns.
“Oh, I’ll make it worth your while,” Wylan reached over the counter and slid a finger below the waistband of the warlock’s jeans.
***
Wylan stumbled his way back into Wen’s house. When he tried to look at the time on the clock, it giggled and stuck out its tongue at him.
He flipped the sassy clock off and sprawled onto the floor. He was hot. Burning up. It felt like when he was dancing with the fire fae. Or afternoons in Tamsin Thorncott’s realm when the two suns beat down on him in the pink sky.
No. None of that. Wylan popped a second pill.
Practically bursting out of his skin he ripped off all of his clothing but his underwear.
He ran from one end of the house to the other. He sprinted up and down the stairs. He danced with invisible partners like he was at the rave again. He pumped a fist in the air and rocked his body this way and that to the rhythm of music that pulsed in his brain.
All of the curtains had blinking eyes. He punched and twisted the fabric, bashing the eyes in till they swelled shut. He knotted every one of them to stop the eyes from peeping open again. He was violently wrangling another pair of curtains so hard he tore them down, when he saw the spectacle in the middle of Wen’s backyard.
It was a bonfire. Not just any bonfire though. Where the wood would be pulsed neon and swirled like a galaxy. Instead of sparks leaping, rainbow shooting stars exploded out. Wylan wanted to catch them in a jar like fireflies. He wanted to fill the house with them.
In the kitchen the cabinets sang to him as he banged each of them open in search of jars. Finally he found them and loaded his arms with them as he sprinted out into the yard.
Barefoot and practically naked he leapt around, catching one star here and one star there.
The starry bonfire continued to blaze. When Wylan was tired of watching it, he hauled the star filled jars back inside. He loaded them onto the coffee table in the living room. He shrugged into his new leopard print robe and rolled on the carpet. It was so beautiful he cried.
***
“Wylan!” Wen barked.
“Whassup?” Wylan jerked to alertness. He was still sprawled on the carpet in his robe.
Wen didn’t have flower eyes and paint didn’t splatter out as he spoke.
Wylan groaned. It was over. Then he flopped over and saw his jars of stars were still there. He squeed in joy.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” Wylan said with a satisfied sigh, holding up a star-filled jar. They bashed around in the jars, emitting glittery sprinkles.
“They’re empty, Wylan. There’s nothing in those jars,” Wen said, frustrated. “And those mason jars are for my overnight oats. They’re not a toy.”
“Nuh-uh,” Wylan said, wagging a finger at Wen. “There are lotsa stars in them. There’s a whole bonfire of them in your backyard.”
“Wylan, I swear. If you just went against what we agreed on in your contract this morning, so help me I’ll–”
“I thought it was over!” Wylan gasped as a rainbow tiger stalked into the room. Then two more after that. The trio of rainbow, striped cats frolicked around the living room. Grinning, Wylan watched them play. When they noticed his eyes on them, they froze.
“Come and get me, Wy!” one of the tigers demanded. His voice was squeaky and high-pitched, like he sucked on helium from a balloon. He hauled his furry ass out the back door, passing through it like a ghost. The other two tigers followed.
“I’m gonna go chase some rainbow tigers!” Wylan whooped.
Next Friday, May 29th, we return to the fantasy timeline and Wylan and cat shape shifter Kaelis and their fight to survive in Tamsin Thorncott’s realm in chapter 10, “Portals and Promises”. 🧚🏻✨🪞🗝️
Amused by Wylan’s antics in this chapter? I’d be grateful if you clicked the heart icon to “like” this, drop a comment below, and tell a fantasy lover in your life about it! 💖